Why Women Don't Know What Men Want
The 1 Easy Idea You Can Use Today…To Unlock His Undying Devotion?
Women across the world make one universal mistake with men.?
Men fall for women because of how those women make them feel.?
You can thank him warmly for every single thing he does for you.?
But the more you appreciate him…The more he appreciates YOU.?
The tendency manifests itself elsewhere as well:
We rush through explanations of ideas that we find easy to understand even if our audience is completely ignorant of them (a group of trainees at work, for example).
We are dumbfounded by the way foreigners act, even though their actions are shocking only when considered in light of our beliefs - in light of theirs they make perfect sense.
We find a book fascinating and recommend it to others, fully expecting them to think the same, but not realizing it was only interesting to us because of our unique experiences.
We are less confident when we go out looking like shit because we assume everyone else thinks so too.
The list is endless.
We do this because it is efficient, even if at times it is inaccurate. We probably could afford to consider the culture of a foreign country before gasping in disbelief at the actions of their citizens; however, it is less likely that before we walk out the door for the evening we will have time to consider the variety of opinions everyone who lays eyes on us will have about our choice of clothes. Or it would be ridiculous to thoroughly interview each of the new employee we are tasked with training so that we'll know exactly what each of them has learned previously, in order to avoid skipping any nugget of new material. Sure, these things are possible, but it is simpler and usually inconsequential to simply assume you look to everyone else the way you thought you did in the mirror, or assume the things that are obvious to you are also obvious to the new hires. This is how we operate as humans. It doesn't always work but usually it gets us by - and what else are we going to do, given limited time and resources?
This same phenomenon explains why men and women are so clueless about one another and what the other wants. Because Western society has championed the idea that the sexes are equal (which I don't deny), we have also started to assume that they are the same (which I very strongly do). At least, we have allowed ourselves to get used to this idea enough that when we consider what is attractive to the opposite sex, we are far less prone to interrupt our default course of action. In other words, we are far less likely to hesitate before we project our own ideas of attractiveness onto the opposite sex. To whatever degree we allow ourselves (or are allowed) to make this projection, we will believe that what is attractive to us must also be attractive to them. And this is where things get all fucked up.
Here is a list of things that each sex tends to think the other likes, erroneously:
Now, I realize that women do like nice guys and attractive guys, and I actually have male friends that have told me they are kind of into girls with status. Granted. Probably there are exceptions to all of the other items on the list. If there wasn't some element of truth to each item, none of them would be believable in the first place and I wouldn't be writing this. But I am sure that everyone has seen a girl throwing back a shot of whiskey to impress a group of guys, or a guy talking up the fact that he's cried in movies before because he thinks the girl listening will be into that. What is surprising is not that there are exceptions to the listed items; it is the level of importance that each sex is placing on them when they are infinitely more accurate as descriptions of their own sex's attractive attributes. To see this just consider the lists reversed:
Men and women would be so much more successful if they tried to emulate the reversed lists. Some members of both sexes obviously get this, and do. However; a surprising number don't, and it is due to the self-projection of our own desires onto th
The guy with the gorgeous floppy hair, quirky smile, and big heart devoted entirely to one person and one person only:
His girlfriend.
You’re so glad she found him, but honestly?
You are so insanely jealous. It’s hard to stop watching them. The way he’s so attentive to her needs. The way they seem to share thoughts without speaking. The way he wraps his arms around her so tightly it’s like they’re one body. Watching them makes you ache. Because the guy at your side doesn’t treat you like that.
It’s not that your guy isn’t wonderful. Of course he’s wonderful. It’s more…
How he treats you. He treats you like someone he’s gotten used to.
You know he doesn’t wake up in the morning pinching himself for being lucky enough to snag someone like you.
But you bet that’s what this other guy does. You can see it in his eyes.
The pleasure that radiates from his smile every time he looks at the woman he loves.
So you ask her—half-joking, half-hoping—if he has any brothers. She just laughs.
“Nah, that’s not what you need.” She leans towards you and glances around to make sure no one’s listening. “Want to hear a secret?”
You nod eagerly.
She whispers, “Our relationship was just like everyone else’s before. But then I found out about this crazy secret. It’s from this relationship coach named James Bauer. It’s, like, the key to unlocking men.”
You nod even more vigorously, but she’s stopped talking. You follow her gaze across the room. Her boyfriend is holding up a drink, asking her wordlessly if she wants one. She shakes her head, blows him a kiss, and turns back to you. “So, do you want to know what it is?”
“Yeah!” you say. “If it will help me and my guy read each other’s minds, like you two just did.”
“Okay, then listen closely…”
If you see a woman with a man trailing behind her like a puppy dog, common wisdom says you can be sure she has something you don’t.
It’s such an obvious explanation and yet…
It’s dead wrong.
That woman?
She’s no more exceptional than you. (Whatever THAT means.)
But what she does have is a very special understanding of men.
She understands that what matters most is NOT what he sees when he looks at her…
But how he sees himself reflected in her eyes.
The truth is this:
He can’t help it.
Most women don’t have that effect on him.
When he’s around most women, he feels like a dumb guy. Like he’s always doing something wrong. Like he needs a nanny to look after him.
He can count on one hand the number of women who look up to him. Who really, really respect him.
And he’s always going to have a place in his life for those women.
So, how do you make a man feel like a hero?
It sounds kind of silly.
Do you have to engineer some kind of scenario where he has to save kids from a burning house or a little old lady from getting hit by a car?
No. It’s a lot simpler than that.
To make your man feel like a hero, there’s one easy thing you can do starting right now:
Thank him.
Did he clear the dishes off the table?
Thank him.
Did he drive you to a meeting?
Thank him.
He’s a hero to you every day, even though you may not see it like that.
Has your man “rescued you”—metaphorically speaking—any time in the last week?
Maybe he dropped everything to help you. Maybe he was there when you needed a sounding board.
Maybe his advice helped you make a difficult decision.
We tend to take those things for granted. We expect it. It numbs us to the actual miracle of having someone to rely on.
Most women think they can earn a man’s appreciation by doing lots of things for him.
They’ve got it backwards.
The best way to earn a man’s appreciation is to appreciate everything he does for you, no matter how little.
It triggers his “Hero Instinct.”
Women across the world make one universal mistake with men.?
Men fall for women because of how those women make them feel.?
You can thank him warmly for every single thing he does for you.?
But the more you appreciate him…The more he appreciates YOU.?
Why Women Don't Know What Men Want
As human beings, we always try to project our own perceptions on those around us. We call the person driving in front of us an asshole because they are going too slowly when we are in a hurry, even though they are 10 mph over the speed limit. On another day we call the person who speeds past us an asshole because they are not content with driving the speed limit, though we are just out for a casual drive. We get pissed off because we honestly believe in that moment that the other driver is being unreasonable, which is perfectly true if they are going slowly when everyone is in as hurry, or if they are speeding when there is no need; but in neither instance does that accurately reflect the situation.The tendency manifests itself elsewhere as well:
We rush through explanations of ideas that we find easy to understand even if our audience is completely ignorant of them (a group of trainees at work, for example).
We are dumbfounded by the way foreigners act, even though their actions are shocking only when considered in light of our beliefs - in light of theirs they make perfect sense.
We find a book fascinating and recommend it to others, fully expecting them to think the same, but not realizing it was only interesting to us because of our unique experiences.
We are less confident when we go out looking like shit because we assume everyone else thinks so too.
The list is endless.
We do this because it is efficient, even if at times it is inaccurate. We probably could afford to consider the culture of a foreign country before gasping in disbelief at the actions of their citizens; however, it is less likely that before we walk out the door for the evening we will have time to consider the variety of opinions everyone who lays eyes on us will have about our choice of clothes. Or it would be ridiculous to thoroughly interview each of the new employee we are tasked with training so that we'll know exactly what each of them has learned previously, in order to avoid skipping any nugget of new material. Sure, these things are possible, but it is simpler and usually inconsequential to simply assume you look to everyone else the way you thought you did in the mirror, or assume the things that are obvious to you are also obvious to the new hires. This is how we operate as humans. It doesn't always work but usually it gets us by - and what else are we going to do, given limited time and resources?
This same phenomenon explains why men and women are so clueless about one another and what the other wants. Because Western society has championed the idea that the sexes are equal (which I don't deny), we have also started to assume that they are the same (which I very strongly do). At least, we have allowed ourselves to get used to this idea enough that when we consider what is attractive to the opposite sex, we are far less prone to interrupt our default course of action. In other words, we are far less likely to hesitate before we project our own ideas of attractiveness onto the opposite sex. To whatever degree we allow ourselves (or are allowed) to make this projection, we will believe that what is attractive to us must also be attractive to them. And this is where things get all fucked up.
Here is a list of things that each sex tends to think the other likes, erroneously:
- Men believe that women like...
- Physically attractive men (pretty boys)
- Nice guys
- Men that have no hair on their bodies
- Sensitivity
- Peaceful men
- Women believe that men like...
- Women that are elusive or "hard to get"
- Tall women (heels)
- Confident women
- Women who can drink liquor straight
- Women with status
Now, I realize that women do like nice guys and attractive guys, and I actually have male friends that have told me they are kind of into girls with status. Granted. Probably there are exceptions to all of the other items on the list. If there wasn't some element of truth to each item, none of them would be believable in the first place and I wouldn't be writing this. But I am sure that everyone has seen a girl throwing back a shot of whiskey to impress a group of guys, or a guy talking up the fact that he's cried in movies before because he thinks the girl listening will be into that. What is surprising is not that there are exceptions to the listed items; it is the level of importance that each sex is placing on them when they are infinitely more accurate as descriptions of their own sex's attractive attributes. To see this just consider the lists reversed:
- Women actually like...
- Men that are "hard to get"
- Tall men
- Confident men
- Men who drink liquor straight
- Men with status
- Men actually like...
- Physically attractive women
- Sweet girls
- Women that have no hair on their bodies
- Sensitive girls
- Peaceful girls
Men and women would be so much more successful if they tried to emulate the reversed lists. Some members of both sexes obviously get this, and do. However; a surprising number don't, and it is due to the self-projection of our own desires onto th
The 1 Easy Idea You Can Use Today…To Unlock His Undying Devotion?
You know that girlfriend of yours who has the perfect boyfriend?The guy with the gorgeous floppy hair, quirky smile, and big heart devoted entirely to one person and one person only:
His girlfriend.
You’re so glad she found him, but honestly?
You are so insanely jealous. It’s hard to stop watching them. The way he’s so attentive to her needs. The way they seem to share thoughts without speaking. The way he wraps his arms around her so tightly it’s like they’re one body. Watching them makes you ache. Because the guy at your side doesn’t treat you like that.
It’s not that your guy isn’t wonderful. Of course he’s wonderful. It’s more…
How he treats you. He treats you like someone he’s gotten used to.
You know he doesn’t wake up in the morning pinching himself for being lucky enough to snag someone like you.
But you bet that’s what this other guy does. You can see it in his eyes.
The pleasure that radiates from his smile every time he looks at the woman he loves.
So you ask her—half-joking, half-hoping—if he has any brothers. She just laughs.
“Nah, that’s not what you need.” She leans towards you and glances around to make sure no one’s listening. “Want to hear a secret?”
You nod eagerly.
She whispers, “Our relationship was just like everyone else’s before. But then I found out about this crazy secret. It’s from this relationship coach named James Bauer. It’s, like, the key to unlocking men.”
You nod even more vigorously, but she’s stopped talking. You follow her gaze across the room. Her boyfriend is holding up a drink, asking her wordlessly if she wants one. She shakes her head, blows him a kiss, and turns back to you. “So, do you want to know what it is?”
“Yeah!” you say. “If it will help me and my guy read each other’s minds, like you two just did.”
“Okay, then listen closely…”
Women across the world make one universal mistake with men.
It’s not their fault. They’re just following common wisdom. Common wisdom says that men only fall for exceptional women. (Exceptional bodies, mainly.)If you see a woman with a man trailing behind her like a puppy dog, common wisdom says you can be sure she has something you don’t.
It’s such an obvious explanation and yet…
It’s dead wrong.
That woman?
She’s no more exceptional than you. (Whatever THAT means.)
But what she does have is a very special understanding of men.
She understands that what matters most is NOT what he sees when he looks at her…
But how he sees himself reflected in her eyes.
The truth is this:
Men fall for women because of how those women make them feel.
When a man feels like a hero in a woman’s eyes, he swears his undying loyalty to her.He can’t help it.
Most women don’t have that effect on him.
When he’s around most women, he feels like a dumb guy. Like he’s always doing something wrong. Like he needs a nanny to look after him.
He can count on one hand the number of women who look up to him. Who really, really respect him.
And he’s always going to have a place in his life for those women.
So, how do you make a man feel like a hero?
It sounds kind of silly.
Do you have to engineer some kind of scenario where he has to save kids from a burning house or a little old lady from getting hit by a car?
No. It’s a lot simpler than that.
To make your man feel like a hero, there’s one easy thing you can do starting right now:
You can thank him warmly for every single thing he does for you.
Did he offer to get you a drink?Thank him.
Did he clear the dishes off the table?
Thank him.
Did he drive you to a meeting?
Thank him.
He’s a hero to you every day, even though you may not see it like that.
Has your man “rescued you”—metaphorically speaking—any time in the last week?
Maybe he dropped everything to help you. Maybe he was there when you needed a sounding board.
Maybe his advice helped you make a difficult decision.
We tend to take those things for granted. We expect it. It numbs us to the actual miracle of having someone to rely on.
But the more you appreciate him…The more he appreciates YOU.
Now, that’s not how most people think.Most women think they can earn a man’s appreciation by doing lots of things for him.
They’ve got it backwards.
The best way to earn a man’s appreciation is to appreciate everything he does for you, no matter how little.
It triggers his “Hero Instinct.”
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