6 Sex Mistakes Women Make
6 Sex Mistakes Women Make
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Women Across The World Make One Universal Mistake With Men?
Men fall for women because of how those women make them feel.?
You can thank him warmly for every single thing he does for you.?
But the more you appreciate him…The more he appreciates YOU.?
But that’s just the beginning.?
The Attraction Trip-Wire - That Awakens a Man’s Deepest Longing for Love?
Stories form the foundation of all human connection. They create the sensation of one shared life experience.?
Since ancient times, stories have been the primary means by which humans communicated important information. Because of that, our minds are literally wired for story.?
The 1 Easy Idea You Can Use Today… To Unlock His Undying Devotion?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------6 biggest sex mistakes women make and reasons why women make them. Ladies, be honest: when your sex life becomes a little humdrum, out comes the mental catalogue of all the ways your partner isn’t quite measuring up. Guys tend to get a bad rap when it comes to understanding women’s bodies and what turns us on, making them easy targets in the blame game when sexual satisfaction starts to wane. And sure, they make their fair share of bedroom errors. But as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. As it turns out, top sex and relationship experts say that women make plenty of sex mistakes of their own. Here’s what they have to say about the six most common mistakes women make in the bedroom and what you can do to get the satisfaction you so rightly deserve.
Sex Mistake #1: Not Initiating Sex With Your Partner
Many of us worry about ladylike behavior. We don’t want to appear pushy or come on too strong for fear of being labeled aggressive. According to Les Parrot, professor of psychology at Seattle Pacific University and author of a new book called Crazy Good Sex, failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes women make.
“Most guys feel like they are always the initiator and that sets up disequilibrium on the passion scale in the relationship,” he says. Generally, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do.
Holding onto outdated ideas about sex roles also inhibits satisfaction with our sexual relationships, says "Dr. Ruth," aka Ruth Westheimer, PhD, a psychosexual therapist, professor at New York University, and lecturer at Yale and Princeton universities. “They used to think that women are less interested in sexual activity and I don’t want to say that anymore. I think there are women who are as interested in sex [as men].”
Show your interest by taking the first step from time to time. Your partner will likely appreciate it, and you may find a new level of satisfaction in taking responsibility for your sexual experience, something Westheimer feels strongly women must do.
Sex Mistake #2: Worrying About What You Look Like
Thinking about how you look during sex stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm.
“Don’t think about the fat on your belly or the makeup on your face,” advises Westheimer. “Concentrate on the pleasure of the act. You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm.”
“Men want their wives to abandon themselves in sex play, and that’s not likely if she is anxious about her physical concerns,” Parrott says.
Helen Fisher, PhD, a cultural anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of a new book called Why Him, Why Her, says men don’t notice half the things women obsess about anyway.
Sex Mistake #2: Worrying About What You Look Like continued...
“It’s amazing what men don’t notice if you’re enthusiastic, energetic, interested in them, and flexible minded.”
According to Fisher, there is an evolutionary explanation for the selective blindness men show to our physical flaws. For Darwinian reasons, says Fisher, men are (unconsciously, of course) looking for women who are able to bear healthy babies. Starting millions of years ago, men who attracted fertile women and had a lot of children lived on. Those who couldn’t died out. Although maybe not as necessary today, Fisher says that primal survival mechanism lives on.
“Men are much more attracted to women who show signs of health and youth andfertility. Rather than worry about the shape of your waist and hips, worry about your energy level and enthusiasm and interest in him,” Fisher advises.
Sex Mistake #3: Assuming Sex Is Casual for a Man
Westheimer believes we should all let go of old-fashioned notions, such as women are not sexual or that sex is just sex to men. “For some men, sex is a very important act. Don’t minimize it.”
The research, says Parrott, supports the idea that both men and women find sexual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship to be more satisfying.
“Numerous research studies make it very clear that the people who have the best quality and most frequent sex are married couples. That says a lot about the inadequacies of ‘casual sex,” Parrot says.
In a study being conducted by Fisher and her colleagues of university students engaging in one-night stands, the numbers show that men are just as serious aboutsex and relationships as women. In fact, more than 50% of women and 52% of men who went into a one-night stand, according to Fisher, reported that they did so hoping to create a longer relationship. One-third of them actually did so. What’s the lesson?
“Never assume that a man is not romantic,” Fisher says. “Two huge mistakes in this culture are that women are not sexual and that men are not as romantic [as women].”
Sex Mistake #4: Believing He’s Always Up for Sex
Sure, most teenage boys are ready and willing just about any time you ask, but not true for men. The pressures of everyday life -- family, work, bills -- can zap a man’s libido. This comes as a big surprise to many women, and often his lack of interest in sex is something we take personally.
“It comes as such a shock [to women] that they just don’t believe it,” Fisher says about the reaction many women have when their partner says they aren’t in the mood for sex. “They know themselves that they are not always interested in sex but they still love the man. But when they discover he doesn’t want to have sex, they think, ‘he doesn’t love me.’ Not true. He just doesn’t want to have sex.”
Sex Mistake #5: Not Giving Him Guidance
Talking very directly about sex, what we like and don’t like can make us feel uncomfortable, even with a partner we’ve been with for a long time and otherwise feel close to, says Parrott. But it’s the only way to achieve a satisfying sexual relationship.
“A woman must take responsibility for her sexual encounter,” says Westheimer. “No man can bring a woman to orgasm if she doesn’t take responsibility for her sexual experience. Even the best lover can’t know what she needs without her letting him know.”
The good news, according to Fisher, is that men very much want to please women.
“If you can tell them in a way that doesn’t kill their ego, they will appreciate it,” says Fisher. She advises women to sandwich what they don’t like in between five things they do, because he’s listening. “You won’t find out until the next time you’re in bed with him. But men do listen, particularly if you’re quite clear about it.”
Sex Mistake #6: Getting Upset When He Suggests Something Newabout Dirty Talk
After a couple has been together for a while, it’s natural to want to spice things up with a little variety. Just because your man wants to try something new doesn’t mean he’s unhappy with you or your sex life. In short: Don’t take it personally.
Still, it’s important that you tune into your comfort zone says Parrott.
“Nobody should ever feel obligated to do something they don’t want to do in the personal and intimate area of sexuality,” Parrott says. “If your man asks you about trying something that’s outside of your morals, make it clear that it’s off limits for you and explain why. Of course, do this in a loving way as best you can. If it is something that is not really a moral issue for you but you still don’t want to, again explain why. If it is a simply a startling request and you’re initially uneasy about it, try not to overreact. Instead, let him know you need some time to think about it.”
Women Across The World Make One Universal Mistake With Men?
It’s not their fault. They’re just following common wisdom. Common wisdom says that men only fall for exceptional women. (Exceptional bodies, mainly.)If you see a woman with a man trailing behind her like a puppy dog, common wisdom says you can be sure she has something you don’t.
It’s such an obvious explanation and yet…
It’s dead wrong.
That woman?
She’s no more exceptional than you. (Whatever THAT means.)
But what she does have is a very special understanding of men.
She understands that what matters most is NOT what he sees when he looks at her…
But how he sees himself reflected in her eyes.
The truth is this:
Men fall for women because of how those women make them feel.
When a man feels like a hero in a woman’s eyes, he swears his undying loyalty to her.He can’t help it.
Most women don’t have that effect on him.
When he’s around most women, he feels like a dumb guy. Like he’s always doing something wrong. Like he needs a nanny to look after him.
He can count on one hand the number of women who look up to him. Who really, really respect him.
And he’s always going to have a place in his life for those women.
So, how do you make a man feel like a hero?
It sounds kind of silly.
Do you have to engineer some kind of scenario where he has to save kids from a burning house or a little old lady from getting hit by a car?
No. It’s a lot simpler than that.
To make your man feel like a hero, there’s one easy thing you can do starting right now:
You can thank him warmly for every single thing he does for you.
Did he offer to get you a drink?Thank him.
Did he clear the dishes off the table?
Thank him.
Did he drive you to a meeting?
Thank him.
He’s a hero to you every day, even though you may not see it like that.
Has your man “rescued you”—metaphorically speaking—any time in the last week?
Maybe he dropped everything to help you. Maybe he was there when you needed a sounding board.
Maybe his advice helped you make a difficult decision.
We tend to take those things for granted. We expect it. It numbs us to the actual miracle of having someone to rely on.
But the more you appreciate him…The more he appreciates YOU.
Now, that’s not how most people think.Most women think they can earn a man’s appreciation by doing lots of things for him.
They’ve got it backwards.
The best way to earn a man’s appreciation is to appreciate everything he does for you, no matter how little.
It triggers his “Hero Instinct.”
(You can learn more about the Hero Instinct in James’ video here.)
For now, just know that the key to unlocking his undying devotion is NOT in everything you do for him…
But in how you respond to everything he does for you.
Did he just wrap his arms around you?
Give a little wiggle of contentment.
Did he agree to watch the program you wanted to see on TV?
Give him an appreciative kiss.
Reward the little things he does, and you’ll find your man striving more and more to please you.
He’s your hero.
And that’s what heroes do.
But that’s just the beginning.
There’s so much more you can do to trigger his hero instinct.There are phrases you can say, texts you can send, and little requests you can use to trigger his hero instinct 100 times more powerfully than just saying thanks.
And because no man can resist a woman who makes him feel like a hero, it’s worth learning a few of these emotional trigger points.
Want to take your relationship skills to the next level with men? Then learn more about how you can master this powerful technique (from the man who invented it) in this short video.
The Attraction Trip-Wire - That Awakens a Man’s Deepest Longing for Love
Trip Wire: “A hidden trigger that sets off a series of explosive events.”Deep within the heart of every man is an intense longing to be someone’s hero.
This longing has ancient origins.
You see,the cause of this longing is written into the very fabric of his DNA. And there it lies, dormant… until one day, the right trigger unleashes its power.
I’d like to show you how to become that trigger, and how to awaken the full force your man’s bonding instinct.
But first, a story. It’s the story of human connection.
Before we can care deeply about someone, we must know something about their life story. Because stories evoke empathy.Stories allow us to picture ourselves in someone else’s shoes.
Stories form the foundation of all human connection. They create the sensation of one shared life experience.
It’s strange, but true, that we can even find ourselves rooting for thieves and criminals so long as we see their story unfold. Movies like Ocean’s Eleven and The Italian Job illustrate this well.In the movie, Ocean’s Eleven, actors George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon make for a cast of likeable thieves. But beyond their good looks, we get pulled into the story. We discover what’s driving Danny Ocean’s motivation to rob a casino. A casino that just happens to be owned by his ex-wife’s new lover.
We can empathize with Danny Ocean’s pain. And by the end of the movie we are actually rooting for him to get away with it. To steal the money and disappear into the sunset with his ex-wife, Tess, by his side.
Perhaps stranger still is the way we respond to fiction in the first place. A skilled novelist can have me on the edge of my seat, rooting for a person who doesn’t even exist in real life.
Literary critics may scoff, but I actually liked the twilight series by Stephanie Meyer. I think my hand was actually trembling from adrenaline as the Volturi began to march across the field, intent on destroying Isabella’s daughter.
But wait, that’s all make-believe. So how could it cause a physical reaction in my body?
The answer, of course, is the power of story.
Since ancient times, stories have been the primary means by which humans communicated important information. Because of that, our minds are literally wired for story.
Stories influence our emotions. They are at the heart of communication. Allowing us to feel connected to each other.When I reach the end of my life, I know which people I will want by my side. It will be those who have witnessed my life story.
The friendly, pretty nurse may be a wonderful person. But if she is a stranger to me, it doesn’t matter what positive attributes she has. I will still feel alone. Because she does not know my story, and I do not know hers.
Knowing this instinctively, she will expend great effort to quickly summon my friends and family. The people who know my story.
To trigger a man’s deepest feelings of attraction, you need to become a special part of his story. You do that by revealing your needs, and allowing him to help you meet them. Why? Because it triggers his hero instinct.
Here’s the formula for triggering a man’s hero instinct:
Story + Need = Activated Hero Instinct.
A man’s hero instinct compels him to seek a relationship that lets him take on the role of a provider.That’s why guys fall for a woman who knows how to trigger this attraction tripwire. It sets off a series of reactions in his emotional world. It makes him happy in a way that’s hard for women to understand. Because they do not share his deeply rooted instinct to become someone’s hero.
Many women are vaguely aware of a man’s desire to see himself as a provider. They understand, for example, why he may become depressed and pull away from others during a period of unemployment.
But these same women fail to recognize the power of the opposite effect...
The 1 Easy Idea You Can Use Today… To Unlock His Undying Devotion
The guy with the gorgeous floppy hair, quirky smile, and big heart devoted entirely to one person and one person only:
His girlfriend.
You’re so glad she found him, but honestly?
You are so insanely jealous. It’s hard to stop watching them. The way he’s so attentive to her needs. The way they seem to share thoughts without speaking. The way he wraps his arms around her so tightly it’s like they’re one body. Watching them makes you ache. Because the guy at your side doesn’t treat you like that.
It’s not that your guy isn’t wonderful. Of course he’s wonderful. It’s more…
How he treats you. He treats you like someone he’s gotten used to.
You know he doesn’t wake up in the morning pinching himself for being lucky enough to snag someone like you.
But you bet that’s what this other guy does. You can see it in his eyes.
The pleasure that radiates from his smile every time he looks at the woman he loves.
So you ask her—half-joking, half-hoping—if he has any brothers. She just laughs.
“Nah, that’s not what you need.” She leans towards you and glances around to make sure no one’s listening. “Want to hear a secret?”
You nod eagerly.
She whispers, “Our relationship was just like everyone else’s before. But then I found out about this crazy secret. It’s from this relationship coach named James Bauer. It’s, like, the key to unlocking men.”
You nod even more vigorously, but she’s stopped talking. You follow her gaze across the room. Her boyfriend is holding up a drink, asking her wordlessly if she wants one. She shakes her head, blows him a kiss, and turns back to you. “So, do you want to know what it is?”
“Yeah!” you say. “If it will help me and my guy read each other’s minds, like you two just did.” “Okay, then listen closely…”
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